Fearless
When I look back over my site, sometimes I fail to recognise why it took me so long to get going.
When I envisioned creating this platform, the writing or blogging world was very different to what it is today. Everybody wrote, but that eventually slowed down. It took me an age to have the courage to do what I’m doing now. Quite simply sometimes you just have to have the balls to actually start doing YOU, having lived in constant fear of what others thought of me for as long as I had done, I realised I was only being detrimental to myself.
I spent a large part of my the last two years in fear of getting this site going. I kept telling myself, I’ll start one soon and I certainly didn’t immerse myself within the community, choosing to keep all my posts personal rather than risk embarrassing myself in some way, shape or form.
I’ll admit, I now look back on those years with much regret as I missed out on learning and growing as a person as well as meeting and being part of a community with some fabulous people. What would I do differently now? What am I doing now to ensure I don’t let fear take hold from me achieving my next goals?
Getting Out Of The ‘Comfort Zone’
I used to live between the walls of my comfort zones. I would allow them to hold me back and suffocate me from the world. My fears always being at the forefront of my mind, my fear of being seen, my fear of awkward silence, my fear of being judged all holding me back from so many incredible opportunities.
And then I decided to say “Yes” more to things that were out of my comfort zone.
I soon realised that the more I said yes, the easier it became. The less scared I was to put my foot a little further outside of my comfort zone each time. This gave me confidence as a person and in my abilities as a creative, I began getting more opportunities simply from saying yes.
The Internal Enemy – Be Fearless
I realised, your biggest enemy lives inside of you. It was only me who doubted me, I would convince myself that everyone around me did too when in actual fact they saw the opposite. We all have those voices within us who tell us we cannot and remind us that we might fail and if we fail that means we are a failure, people will laugh or judge you, therefore it is best not to try
I always maintain that the most common question I receive with regards to social media is “How Do I Get Started or How Do I Grow Like You?”
If I had a penny for all the times I’ve been asked, I’d be a millionaire. I genuinely believe that 90% aren’t after tips at all. In fact, they are looking for reassurance because they have been listening to that loud voice within them with all their “What if’s” and worst case scenarios. They want me to tell them that it will be OK, just like I wanted when I started.
In my experience, people laughed, I felt silly and I thought about what life would have been like if I had let the internal voices win. Now that same thought is the thing of nightmares. The best advice I can give is to not let others be the deciding factor for your own personal happiness. Only you can be the ultimate provider of happiness, be fearless.
Wondering What Others Will Think
We’ve all been judged our entire lives. Even when we think we aren’t being judged, we most definitely are and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it, in fact, we are probably just as guilty. It’s at that point that you have to take a step back and realise that worrying about being judged won’t ever stop it from happening, it is a fact of life and a waste of valuable energy that could be better spent elsewhere.
I now spend far more time worrying about those who judged me but also took the time to get to know me, to befriend me and to be there for me. I can count those close friends on my hands, so I put my energy into maintaining those relationships, to ensure I am always surrounded by the right kind of, like-minded people.
You are a product of the closest people you surround yourself with.
Not Everyone Will Agree
Ultimately your nearest and closest will accept you for who you are and embrace the flaws or problems that you can be fearful of. However, if you are being yourself, you are going to disagree or not get on with someone at some point and not everyone will see your vision, but that’s life.
Opinions and beliefs differ from person to person so drastically that if you are airing a view, you can be sure someone won’t agree with you. Some people with have the wrong mindset will simply see the negative even in the most positive. Trying to keep them happy will cost you all of the best things that make you who you are.
Pat Yourself On The Back
The world is constantly telling us what we can and cannot do, who we should and shouldn’t be. We shouldn’t compliment ourselves because that is being arrogant, but we shouldn’t put ourselves down either because then that makes us insecure. We shouldn’t be too positive because that is setting unrealistic expectations and yet we shouldn’t be too negative because that makes you not pleasant to be around.
Stop attempting to please everyone, try pleasing yourself instead. Congratulate yourself on your achievements, however small or big. Believe in yourself, deep down you will know when you have done something right, celebrate it & own your success.
The Look
Recently I have been wearing a lot of suits for more formal events and occasions. Whilst I like to dress up, it’s ideal to switch it up and casual things up, especially for comfort.
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Outfit Photography by the Sauce Network’s @ricosorzano
Click the link below to shop my Raith Clothing Pieces
Tracksuit Top – FUNNEL NECK TRACK TOP LIGHT GREY & WHITE
Tracksuit Pants – TRACK PANT LIGHT GREY & WHITE
Lookout for my exclusive Raith Clothing interview coming soon.
